Phrases You Never Want To Hear In News Reports About Yourself

...a grim-faced spokesman said...

...a hiker's chance discovery...

...as co-workers scrambled for cover...

...asphyxiated on his/her own vomit... 
...bound with duct tape...

...charred remains...

...counseled grieving classmates...

...covered in his/her own excrement...

...deadly shards of glass...

...execution-style...

...extensive child pornography collection... 
...flesh-eating bacteria...

...gruesome discovery...

...hail of bullets...

...history of mental problems... 
...horrified onlookers...

...identified by dental records...

...neighbors complained of a foul odor...

...pilot error... 
...plea to the abductors...

...reported hearing demonic voices... 
...required over 700 stitches...

...rescuers watched helplessly...

...shallow grave... 
...skeletal remains... 
...tainted meat... 
...three times the legal blood alcohol limit...